The older parents and the special children who are in their prime but cannot do without care… “Komiks are disabled by the elderly” CinemaFamily looking forward to social assistance
Text/Yangcheng Evening News All-Media Reporter Li Meiyan Intern Guo Yixuan
Liwan District, at 6 a.m., 78-year-old Aunt Xian got up and prepared breakfast, turned around and walked into the room to wake up her daughter to take medicine, and helped her record the heart rate in the morning; Haizhu District, at 9 a.m., 74-year-old Aunt Lian was already a little troubled to go up and down the four-story stairs, but in order to allow her daughter who doesn’t like to go out more, she insisted on taking her daughter to the vegetable market to buy vegetables; in Yuexiu District, at 4 a.m., 65-year-old Aunt Liao directed her son to move a bag of clothes to the second floor, and they planned to send these clothes to their friends who were hospitalized the next day.
They are typical families who “support the elderly and support the disabled”: their parents are retired, but because their only children are accompanied by intellectual or mental disorders, their hair turns gray and their hair is still running around to support their disabled children, making it difficult to enjoy their old age as their peers.
In December last year, Guangzhou Yangai Special Children Parent Club, the first social service institution in China to serve parents of special children, conducted a survey on nearly 600 ordinary elderly people and nearly 300 “old and disabled” families in Guangzhou, and released the “Guangzhou City Mental Retardation Family Elderly Service Requirements Research Report”. When mentioning the difficulties and challenges of children’s future resettlement planning, more than 60% of parents are most worried that their children’s lives are not guaranteed.
The parents who are getting older and the special children who are in their prime but cannot do without care, the elderly care anxiety of families who “maintain the disabled” are tangled into a huge question mark, waiting for the society to straighten it with practical actions.
Two-year-old families with mentally disabled participate in parent-child fun sports meetings
78-year-old mother and 44-year-old daughter: the thoughtful plan and the increasingly aging reality
2016 is the most difficult year in Aunt Xian’s memory.Komiks—First, my wife was sent to In the ICU, after three months of hospitalization, he finally returned home to rest, and his daughter A Ting, who was mentally disabled, suffered a stroke and was admitted to the hospital.
Aunt Xian, who was 72 years old at that time, took on the burden of the family alone, and the hospital was in the hospital every day.They ran around and took good care of the two bedridden patients until their condition gradually stabilized. During that time, she lost more than ten pounds at once.
But the crisis has not really passed. In August 2020, her husband, who had been bedridden for a long time, passed away. In September, A Ting was admitted to the hospital due to swelling throughout her body. The problem of bradycardia after the stroke became more and more serious. At the lowest point, her heart rate was only more than 20 times per minute. The doctor suggested installing a pacemaker for A Ting, otherwise “it is possible to fall asleep and the person will be gone.”
“It would be fine if I really fell asleep and left, but I was afraid of being paralyzed and suffering even more.” Aunt Xian said Babaylan. Last year, A Ting was in the hospital three times. For a period of time, she even had difficulty getting up and had to deal with urination and defecation in bed. In August last year, she made up her mind to install a pacemaker for A Ting: “I’m recovering well now, but my right hand is not as flexible as before and I can’t hold things.”
The hardest time was when I was in the hospital for a caregiver. Aunt Xian, 78, has hypertension, diabetes and heart disease, and her health is no longer as good as before. Once, A Ting was hospitalized for two weeks and happened to have an available bed in the ward, so she pleaded with the doctor and went in. For this reason, she has been studying the goodness of the hospital and the doctor: “Cinema I also have a heart disease, and I can’t take care of myself even if I take care of my daughter. href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>Komiks‘s birth allowed me to be hospitalized with my daughter, which also saved me from hiring a nursing staff.”
Considering that I was getting older, Aunt Xian asked many questions over the years and made as meticulous arrangements for her 44-year-old daughter as much as possible: She joined the unit for her daughter and bought social security for more than 14 years in a row. Now she is still missing for 9 months and has been 15 years since she was missing. She bought two “Safe Project” insurance. Last year, A Ting’s total hospitalization fee was more than 130,000 yuan, and finally the medical insurance and insurance reimbursement was only more than 15,000 yuan. She also applied for a waiting time for her daughter in Guangzhou Disabled Care Home, hoping that when she was unable to take care of her daughter in the future, her daughter could spend the rest of her life in the nursing home; she even began to consider leaving by herself. href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>CinemaWho will be the guardian of his daughter after he has passed the Cinema.
The thoughtful plan faces the increasingly aging reality, sometimes it is inevitable to be stretched. In September last year, due to the increasing serious lumbar disc herniation problem, Aunt Xian was not allowed to Babaylan for no hospitalization. But now A Ting is unable to take care of herself at home alone. In desperation, she had to ask her sister to come to take care of her for a few days, and “My sister is also in her 70s.nnybookish.com/”>Cinema“.
Some time ago, the staff came to Aunt Xian to conduct a comprehensive assessment of her elderly care needs, and the assessment results were mild disability and second-level care. “To take good care of her, I must ensure that I am healthy.” Since A Ting had a stroke, in order to facilitate nighttime care, Aunt Xian has been sleeping in the same bed with her daughter. She had to get up to check if there was any movement. “I hope I can stay at home until I can’t take care of her, and see if it’s possible to live in a nursing home with her.”
A Ting (left) and Aunt Xian were looking at photos of the previous trip.
The 65-year-old mother and 38-year-old son: “I have the ability to take care of myself and will live a better life in the nursing home in the future.” “Catch this place with my right hand and pick it up.” As soon as I came back from outside, Aunt Liao directed her son A Ming to move a bag of clothes to the second floor. A Ming wiped his sweat, grabbed the knot pointing to by his mother with his right hand, and took the bag into his arms with his left hand. He looked focused, without saying a word, and obediently walked towards the stairs.
This is the daily life of the mother and son. 38-year-old A Ming was diagnosed with an intellectual disability since childhood and it was difficult to complete slightly complicated tasks independently. Aunt Liao, 65, patiently dismantled each move one by one and converted it into instructions that her son could understand and execute, so as to exercise his ability to take care of himself.
“In 2007, he suddenly fell ill, and after 10 years of adjustment, his condition was basically stable and controlled.” Looking back now, Aunt Liao still blamed herself for herself. A Ming suffered from epilepsy at the age of 6, but at that time, due to lack of understanding of this disease, she missed the best opportunity to effectively control it. In 2007, A Ming’s condition took a sharp turn for the worse. The schizophrenia caused by epilepsy made him unable to sleep at night. “Sometimes, he mumbled alone and spoke to the air.” In those 10 years, she took her son to seek medical treatment and medicine: “At the beginning, the monthly pension was only 1,111 yuan, and he had to spend six or seven hundred yuan a month just taking medicine.”
She never avoided his condition in front of A Ming, and even often “vaccinate” to him, saying, “My mother will leave sooner or later.” In the race against time and disability, her desire to help her son realize her basic self-care is becoming more and more urgent: “If I leave, he has the ability to take care of himself, and he will live a better life in the nursing home in the future.”
At the beginning of this year, Aunt Liao had to be admitted to the hospital for thyroid problems, and how to take care of A Ming’s daily life became the biggest problem.
She kept enough food in the iron box where she kept her change, and appointed A Ming to solve the problem of three days in a snack shop near her home.She asked the owner of the snack shop to help pay attention to Aming’s situation; at the same time, she entrusted a distant relative to accompany Aming every night to prevent accidents such as “touching the electric door with wet hands”. Only after everything was arranged was made, she could handle the admission procedures with peace of mind.
But while Aunt Liao was hospitalized, A Ming, who had not seen her mother for a long time, called and said, “You are not at home, I am so lonely alone.” This phone call made her break her defense instantly. She softly comforted the other end of the phone, “You clean the house and your mother will come back.” The obedient A Ming focused on shiny tables, chairs, benches, and corners in the house: “He wiped the iron gate outside the house, but the wind blew the door slammed and locked him outside.”
Now A Ming, nowadays, can eat, dress, bath and go to the toilet by himself, shop independently, and carefully place the things at home neatly. Occasionally, he listened quietly to the tricycle outside the door crossing the loose stone road and left with a “bang” all the way. He likes to play basketball and often lingers around the Cinema Show Park Stadium with the ball, waiting for the stadium to gradually lose fewer people in the evening, and carefully shoot on the court. He also likes to browse current news on his mobile phone, claiming that he likes to watch international news the most. Even when reporters asked him what were the popular international news that day, he blurted out that “Biden was infected with the new crown.”
A Ming like this also made Aunt Liao imagine what would happen if her son had a sound intelligence development: “In that case, he should have already started a family now.”
Parents of special children gathered together to participate in entertainment activities
75-year-old motherBabaylan and his 38-year-old daughter: Respite service, let family affection take occasional vacation
After her husband passed away, the burden of caring for his only daughter Longlong, who was intellectually disabled, was pressed on Aunt Lian’s shoulders.
From the outsider’s perspective, this year’s 38-year-old Longlong is not considered a caring “little cotton jacket”. She is sensitive by nature and does not like to contact the outside world. She often stays at home to watch the cartoon “The Guardian of the Universe” or reads the early education storybooks borrowed by Aunt Lian from the library. Sometimes she has a change in emotions and will get angry at her elderly mother and break up Aunt Lian’s six elderly mobile phones.
“Although I have raised her for more than 30 years, sometimes I don’t know what she is thinking.” Aunt Lian said that Longlong’s temper comes and goes quickly like a child, and he can’t predict it, “For example, the food is cold, and he is calledShe will be unhappy if she gets hot and eats it. Sometimes she was taking medicine and told her to pack up her things for a while, but she was unhappy again. “
KomiksMothers always use the greatest kindness to tolerate and understand their children. In the opinion of Lian, Longlong has poor language expression skills. Some things she knows but cannot express, and will be anxious. At this time, “Don’t conflict with her head, and she can only reason with her after she loses her temper.”
But the mother, who is overwhelmed by the double burden of life and psychology, also longs to be tolerated and understand. One time, Longlong lost his temper again and even beat someone, the frustrated aunt Lian called the help call of the Yangai Special Children Parent Club in Guangzhou. That night, Yangai arranged for a social worker who often stayed in the household to move into Longlong’s house, and temporarily took over the care burden on Aunt Lian, so that Aunt Lian could go to her sister’s house for a short rest. href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>Komiks for a week. When talking about this rare “respite service”, Aunt Lian is still full of gratitude: during that time, social workers helped take care of Longlong, led her to learn how to buy vegetables and cook, study at street medical stations, and even after discovering the safety hazards of the kitchen, she assisted in contacting professionals to renovate the kitchen, “I think of that social worker when I see the kitchen now.”
Although I often shouted href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>Babaylan shouted, “I will ignore you if I get angry.” But to Longlong, Aunt Lian always gave in: “What’s the solution? I can’t let her go. ”Babaylan
In 2009, when her husband was seriously ill, Lian Aunt ran away from home at the hospital. She was unable to do anything, but after searching for a while, she couldn’t find a place suitable for temporary custody of mentally disabled people. She could only send her daughter to her own sister’s house for care.
In 2016, Lian Aunt had to be admitted to the hospital for surgery due to lumbar disc herniation. She was worried that Longlong would be taken, so she took her to the hospital together: the mother and daughter three times a day href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>BabaylanEat all the meals are solved in the hospital cafeteria. During the day, Longlong sat in the hospital and played or chatted with the nurses. After dinner, he went home to take a shower and sleep. During the three months after going home to bed and rest, because it was inconvenient to buy vegetables and cook for Longlong, Aunt Lian specially hired a nurse to help.
“She is getting older and older, I am getting older and older, and our destination is always a nursing home. When I still have the ability, I always want to let her live a warm life with a family. “When she mentioned the future, even her aunt had melancholy and helplessness in her tone. She planned to sell her current house in the future and take Longlong to live in the nursing home. “I hope that there are some institutions like this that can accept us in the future. ”
Parents of special children participate in the theme activity of the lawyer’s open day heritage guardianship
In-depth interpretation
How to support the elderly with “using the elderly to support the disabled”:
The answer is still being explored. Changes have occurred
Parents who are getting older are still inseparable from their prime. href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>Cinema opens children whom others take care of others, hoping that an institution can accept elderly parents and disabled children at the same time – it is the same voice of Aunt Lian and others.
The “2020 Guangdong Province Disabled Career Development Statistical Bulletin” shows that as of the end of 2020, there were 1,774 disabled care service institutions in Guangdong Province, including boarding system There are 30 nursing care services, 1,695 day care institutions, and 49 comprehensive nursing care services. However, for older mentally disabled people, the more common choice is to go to public nursing care institutions. In Guangzhou, there is only one public nursing care in Guangzhou for mentally disabled people.
In March this year, Aunt Lian ranked Longlong in Guangzhou at the disabled care home, and the latest waiting list for application is 692. As of June 29 this year, Cinema706 people applied to Guangzhou for nursing home for disabled people. The application time shows that the first waiter has been waiting for 11 years – he applied for waiting in July 2011.
How many families like this in Guangzhou are like “Komiks”? This may be a glimpse from a set of public data: Guangzhou Sunshine Angel Social Work Service Center data shows that Guangzhou BabaylanThere are 1,730 registered disabled people in Shilou Town, Panyu District, and among the disabled people, there are 117 families with disabilities who rely on elderly people aged 60 or above to provide care and support, accounting for 6.8% of the disabled people.
“If calculated based on this ratio, there are about two families with “oldering disabled people” in Guangzhou.There are 30,000. If these parents leave in the future, the placement of their children will be a big problem and need to be intervened and paid attention in advance. “Liang Zhitu, Director-General of Guangzhou Yangai Special Children Parent Club, told reporters that since 2018, Yangai has established a double-year-old family member group to provide case management, life care, emotional support, information, home skills training and other services to the two-year-old family members of mentally disabled people. “We hope that through such practice, we will explore how to provide service support for families with “Komiks with elderly care”. It is different from ordinary elderly care services and from special children whose parents are not yet retired. ”
In Liang Zhitu’s view, the key to truly solving these special family pension problems is to return to the community’s home-based pension: “This group is too large, and the government’s bottom-up measures can only digest thousands of beds at most. Can existing community pension service resources, rehabilitation and household-entry service resources, etc. be applicable to families with the elderly and the disabled? How to ensure the service and quality of life of these special families? These issues must be considered in future policy design. ”
The answer is still being explored, but some good changes are quietly happening.
In June 2019, under the guidance of the disability federation of Yuexiu District, Guangzhou City, the “Pilot Project for Supporting Two Elderly Family for Mental Disableds in Guangzhou” was officially launched, and some regular and emergency response services have been gradually formed, such as providing psychological counseling and emotional support, coordinating home-based elderly care personnel to take care of mentally disabled people in the short term to reduce the burden on parents of mentally disabled people, etc. At the same time, they are gradually improving the service resource library and service support system.
Liang Zhitu found that among the more than 30 families they provide case management, parents have only generalized questions, “What should I do after I leave”, and slowly understand how to refine the href=”https://funnybookish.com/”>Cinema physical needs, such as how to reasonably plan property, how to do intentional custody, etc., have a clearer understanding of the future planning and placement of children.
It is reported that Guangzhou Yangai Special Children Parent Club has implemented this year through the implementation of the “Guangzhou ‘Old and Disabled Family Energy Enhancement Support Plan” funded by the 9th Guangzhou Social Organization Public Welfare Venture Capital Activity Funding Project, extending existing practical experience to Babaylan more “to protect the disabled with the elderlyBabaylan“Family. “At the same time, we have also discovered some new needs, such as respite services, and the government currently does not have relevant service resources. Next, we are preparing to establish a temporary care.Explore related service models. “Liang Zhitu said.
(At the request of the interviewees, A Ting, A Ming and Long Long are all pseudonyms.)